Vigils of Silence, Love and Death.

Last night I watched "Death in Venice" by Luciano Visconti. I read Thomas Mann's book back when I was a teenager and it made me so sad. But watching the film is another experience. Dirk Bogard is really great and I think the film is a masterpiece. The film tells the story of a great composer who went to Venice to regain his creativity. He saw a beautiful boy named Tadzio and became obsessed with his beauty. He tried to draw Tadzio’s attention and followed him everywhere, eventually to his death. The real theme of movie is about appraisal of beauty and reaching wisdom through love. For understanding underlying meanings of this film you can read Barry Stone's great Death in Venice page and this article about Gustav Mahler which this film is based on his life. But After watching it, all night I thought about one of my old questions. I remember when I was younger; when an older man made a sexual gesture toward me I really felt bad and also sad for him. I think many of us remember those gazes, those fatherly pats on our heads or tights, those pressure in crowded buses and those offers to riding us back home when we waited for taxi. I always thought, are they, as some not so beautiful men, have right to love us as beautiful boys? I think one of greatest aspects of gay love is that it isn't all about sex (sorry Brian!). In most cases what we call gay history and be proud of it is love of older men for beautiful youths. Source of inspiration for Persian poets, renaissance painters and even ancient Greece gods lovers are all beautiful boys. And I think it isn't completely a sexual feeling. It's more a source of inspiration and a path for reaching perfection. When we think about love between a man and a youth usually picture it as a seduction, a one-way relationship which one partner taking everything thing from other partner and somehow contaminating his purity. Is it really this way? Don’t older men have something in exchange for the things they got from us? Can’t their wisdom, support and guidance somehow elevate us? Can a beautiful mind make an old body lovely? I can't find an answer for these questions, but I think if we understand each other instead of hating in first encounter maybe we can find something beautiful in everybody. But this film made me really sad. Age is really the most impure of all impurities. (Adagietto from Mahler's Fifth Symphony which used as Death in Venice theme is a masterpiece.)



... And new trailers (first ,second) of Full Metal Alchemist are really fantastic. Fortunately the voice acting in English dub seems to be good.

... And I found two old articles (first, second) about homosexuality in Iran by Sam Ghandchi. I didn't know that Allan Turing, father of computer science, was actually gay and prosecuted and committed suicide after his relationship with another man was discovered.

... And today is first day of legalized gay marriage in Massachusetts. It's really great. Don't you think it's somehow because Massachusetts is highest educated state in US after DC?

... And new trailer of The Incredibles is incredible!