Somewhere I Belong.

Yesterday was the last day of E3 2004. E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) is largest annual event of digital game industry. This year's E3 was great. Although many games such as The Roots and Legacy: Dark Shadows (First computer game featuring a lesbian hero) and Dream fall(sequel to longest journey) weren't shown, there are many other great games. Star Wars KOTOR 2, Prince of Persia 2, Xenosaga 2 and Final Fantasy XII are just few of these new titles. Unfortunately it seems we will not see Xenosaga 2 and Final Fantasy XII until 2005. The new 6 minutes trailer of Xenosaga 2 is breathtaking. But from a gaymer point of view there are two new games that I anticipate very much. First is famous SIMS 2. A few months ago EA officially announced that in SIMS 2 we can have marriage and all emotional relationships betweens same sex characters. Second game is Vampire Masquerade: Bloodlines. The game is too much gory for my taste, but: first the developer is Troika games, same studio who created Temple of Elemental Evil with it's famous gay marriage plot and second I must confess that I loved Vampire Masquerade: Redemption. Also the game will take place in Los Angles, and who knows a better place for a gay themed game? (Just a wish!). Also it seems that future of RPG gaming is MMORPG games. Actually from a gaymer point of view it's great. We already have great gay guilds for games such as Ever Quest, City of Heroes, Star Wars: Galaxies and many other games. So if computer games let players decide about stories and quests, I think in future we will see MMORPG will play the role that currently chatrooms and online groups play: as a meeting place for people with same interests. Cyber World is one of few places that everybody can be him/herself, without fear of social restraints. Every body can be somewhere he/she belongs. Somewhere he/she is a real person, not an image. I think it's not important that this place is a virtual world.



... And yesterday when I was channel hopping I stumbled upon Oprah program. Actually I didn't like her so much but because of subject of the program I watched it. And what an astounding experience. The program is about children who want to change their gender! She talked with two 14 and 11 year old girls who want to be boy and a little boy who knew he is a girl from when he was 6 years old. It's so amazing that I also watched today Oprah program which is about men who undergo sex change operation after their marriage. And with support of their wives they become what they really are. One of the quotes from these men (or women! sorry) is very important for me. Daughter of one of these men describes how her father (now a woman) actually became a better character now that he was a woman. How her father who used to be an alcoholic, unsuccessful, angry man now is a kind and understanding woman. When Oprah asked the father why, he told her when you make an unreal image of yourself for community, most of the times you are so absorbed in that image that you forget who you are. You are not a human anymore, you are just an image. If you want to be a successful human, first you must be yourself and then and only then you have the ability to concentrate on other things. Being an image is such a heavy burden that sometimes your only task in life seems to be keeping that image.

... And after Oprah I watched Dr. Phil’s program about teenage suicide and depression. It seems I had and have a severe case of depression and I must committed suicide back when I was a teenager! Actually many gay (and even straight) Iranian boys that I know seems to have same problem. But really his program and specially interview with friends of these teens who committed suicide is really sad. Sometimes I think our world is too bad for kids to live in. Gradually they will learn to accept it and be as bad as it, but they will loose that precious innocent smiles and angelic looks and become humans.

... And Persian Gay and Lesbian Organisation's new website launched. It's a great work.